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Dance like nobody's watching
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| boys? |
[Oct. 27th, 2004|02:19 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | john legend- live it up | ] |
okay so i finally like someone... and it feels really good, but also really awkward. maybe thats not the right word im looking for. but i feel like its how senayt tried to explain it to me earlier. she said it becomes like a need to see them. i dont like that. i dont like feeling like i have to need to see anyone. it seems like you become so dependent. but thats how it feels. oh well this whole thing is weird and taking some getting used to. its hard when you've never had any experience and you're in college. i feel like im 13 or something. im such a baby about some things... but i feel like i have the right to be because i know nothing. i feel like i should tell him that, but then i feel that it would be ridiculously even more awkward. hmmmmmmmm |
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| its been a while |
[Oct. 19th, 2004|02:21 am] |
yeah so ive stopped writing again. i think mostly because i suck at life and i am constantly busy.
so many things have been going through my head lately. i feel like i am in such a slump sometimes. in all my activities i feel that im only doing a mediocre job. i feel like i could push myself so much more and get so much more out of what i am doing. maybe it because im involved in too much. im not too sure. i think it also has to do with the fact that i still dont know what i want to do with my life. i know im too young to pick a career but i should have some idea, right? i just dont want to regret not trying something new because im already set on one track... college is supposed to be a time to explore.. i feel like im stagnate... nothing is happening.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 9th, 2004|01:03 am] |
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you know that feeling you get when things are bout to change? i hate that feeling. its always feels like itll be something bad. and im dreading that. |
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| MY GOD |
[Aug. 16th, 2004|12:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  surprised | ] |
| [ | music |
| | N.E.R.D.- She Wants to Move | ] |
Okay... thhe thing that is scariest about this is that I am actaully like this...
Description of Your First Name of: Jennifer
Even though the name Jennifer creates the urge to be artistically creative and original, we emphasize that it causes an emotional intensity that is hard to control. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the nervous system, and tension or accidents to the head.
The name Jennifer creates a dual nature in that you can be very generous and understanding, but you can also be so candid in your expression that you create misunderstanding. You struggle with the requirement to soften your expression with tact and diplomacy and to consider the feelings of others. Difficulty in accepting advice or admitting that you may have made a mistake causes you to appear to be stubborn and set in your ways. Thus, you have too often created the wrong impression, and friendships have suffered.
You know when you read these things you never really expect it to describe you. But sometimes they really do describe you to a T.
haha okay seriously I'll go pack now. |
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| 3 days |
[Aug. 16th, 2004|11:59 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | TLC- Perfect Proposal | ] |
i should be packing, but oh well. i have been packing for about the last week and a half because my mom has been on my ass about it. only 3 days until i go to stl. so much excitement. i am kind of scared that i am so happy to be going back. i always get excited about going somewhere or doing something and i get dissapointed when things do not live up to my expectations. oh well at least ill get to see everybody and hear about what they've been doing for this summer.
i have 43 dollars in my bank account that is just ridiculous. i hate allstar for not sending my damn money. its like come one you should know how to run your damn buisness and get me my money. i need it for school things and such. i really doubt that i am going to work for them next summer. maybe i'll try to get invited to the superbowl or the cruise but they probaly wont use me for any of those things anyway.
ok i really should get to packing... |
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| its been a while |
[Aug. 12th, 2004|01:05 am] |
shit. i always do this. i always prmoise that i am going to write in one of these damn journals but i never do. not only with online journals, but also hand written ones. but i'm going to try to keep it up... i promise i need something to channel my thoughts and feelings into. especially with school starting im so excited that i am finally going back to st louis. i mean i love the big easy, but i serouisly have bo friends here. maybe a few, but everything changes when you go away to school. all your freinds are there. the people you thought you were freinds with at home have all got different groups of people to hang out with and get to know. its kinda hard to mingle with people who have been bonding for an entire year.
im excited about this year, but i am also worried about school. i mean what the hell am i doing with me life? do i want to do something with dance? do i want to study another language? should i look into english? i seorusly dont know and i hate being unsre of things. i know i love to dance, but what if i am missing out on other oppurtunities because i am too worried about taking classes in something that is never ever going to amount to anything? it just feels like time is winding down and i am missing out if i dont start on what i want to do now. im so confused and i just want some clarity really. clarity would be a blessing. i get depressed very easily when i am confused. i am hoping ill just have an ephifany and everything will work out. ah, who knows.
that felt good to write and get some of my thoughts out.
the countdown is on and i cannot wait to be in st louis. |
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| Yay! I'm a conformist (sp?) |
[Jun. 11th, 2004|01:23 am] |
so yeah... i decided to get a livejournal. all the cool kids are doin it, so i figured i would too. i need something to do while my summer waists away. because no one wants to hire me and i have no friends...j/k... or am i? anyways, i have to get out of this damn house. i feel like i am going stir crazy. it's really horrible not having a car. esp after a year of college. someone save me...
did i mention i also have no money... add that to having no job. i need money to pay for dance classes..ahh.. i also need to find somewhere to take. i wish shannon was teaching at mari's this would be so much easier... man...
But i like my little picture i put up. im trying to go along with this whole summer theme. even though i am not having much of a summer. when i get paid for allstar i think i am going to buy a movie each pay day. i really want to build up my dvd collection for some odd, odd reason. here's my list so far... hopefully i'll think of some more:
requiem for a dream
momento
sliding doors
emma
finding nemo
fight club
dogma
cruel intenions
clue
...and ill add more as i think of them |
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